Making final plans for your loved one can be complex. Your funeral director can help you with any questions you have about making these choices while you are grieving. When it comes to making decisions about memorial grave markers, sometimes what you leave off them can be as important as what you ultimately decide to include. Be sure to leave these things off the tombstone for your loved one.
Don't Include Over a Full Paragraph of Prose
The basics that are included on a gravestone typically don't allow for a lot of text. You usually won't have space to even include a full paragraph, but you should try to avoid going over that. A memorial grave marker should state the person's full name, date of birth, date of death, and other important data about who the person was. You don't need to give a lot of details to strangers, though.
Don't Include Anything Angry on the Gravestone
It can be tempting to put an angry final thought on the tombstone of someone who acted cruelly in life. If you had a dispute with a loved one that left hard feelings at the time of their death, that is unfortunate, but don't make rash decisions out of anger in the aftermath of their death. It's okay to be angry throughout the grieving process, but it shouldn't be displayed on a permanent gravestone.
Don't Include Information on the Cause of Death
What caused the death? That's one of the most common questions that is asked after somebody dies. People want to know how someone passed away, especially if the person was young and healthy. However, the place to share that information is never on a gravestone. A possible exception would be if the person died heroically, but for nearly everyone, the cause of death should not be on the memorial grave marker.
Don't Include Anything the Person Held Private in Life
If your loved one was a private person, rest assured that their preferences wouldn't have magically altered unless they told you about a change of heart before their death. Never put anything on a gravestone that the person chose to keep private. For example, if the person was adopted but chose never to disclose that information, keep it off the tombstone, too.
Finally, when you are making the final choices on what to include on your loved one's gravestone, it's okay to ask relatives and trusted friends for input. While you are entrenched in grief, don't feel as though you should do it all on your own. Ask for help when you need it, and don't be afraid to reach out to your funeral director for help during any step of the process, too.
For more information and options for grave markers, talk with supply companies like An Thiel Monuments