Being asked to give a eulogy for a lost loved one's funeral or cremation service is an honor. It shows that the relationship you had with the deceased person is respected, and it offers you the chance to speak lovingly of your loved one to people who are longing to hear what you say. When you are writing the eulogy, consider these questions to help you create just the right eulogy that will be a tribute to your loved one.

Question #1: What is the tone that you want the eulogy to have?

The tone that you should strike with your eulogy is up to you. If you struggle with the decision, ask other loved ones who were close to the deceased person. The tone can range from very serious to humorous, depending on the situation that surrounded the person's death and the kind of person they were.

Question #2: How can you best convey who you are and your relationship to the deceased?

You will need to introduce yourself during the eulogy for those who do not know you well, and you also need to at least briefly describe your relationship to the deceased person. It's best to keep this part of the eulogy short and sweet.

Question #3: Who will your audience be at the memorial service?

If the cremation service is very small, you may know most of the people who are attending. If you expect that you will be speaking to a lot of strangers, that can have a big impact on the type of eulogy you choose to write. It's an important point to consider throughout the writing process.

Question #4: How can you bring the qualities that the person had to life?

Think long and hard about what you loved the most about the person, and you may also want to talk about a few of their quirks or personality flaws as long as you can do so in a humorous or loving way. Try to create a full picture of the person by bringing their qualities to life with personal anecdotes.

Question #5: What are some ways you can you differentiate the eulogy from the obituary?

Although the obituary will typically be brief and heavy on the facts of someone's life, the eulogy should be far more personalized. The eulogy needs to capture who someone is beyond the events of their life, and it goes beyond the surface to share who the person truly was.

Question #6: How can you be inclusive of all attendees in the eulogy?

When you are giving the eulogy, you have a great opportunity to be inclusive of those who were close to the person who passed away. Be sure to include close relatives as well as special friends. Young children who are attending the funeral home should also be mentioned as they will likely appreciate the attention.

Question #7: What can you say that will provide true comfort to mourners?

Giving the eulogy can be a very generous action within your time of mourning, and choosing what you say so that it provides optimal comfort to fellow mourners is important. A great eulogy can give mourners a sense of joy about their memories of the deceased person.

Finally, keep in mind that giving a eulogy is a way to show your respect for both the person who passed away and their loved ones who are in mourning. It is the last chance that you will have to essentially speak for them in a formal way, and I can be something that provides immense comfort to those who hear it. Take your time to plan the eulogy well, and it will be a gift to all who hear it.